I love the “came back wrong” trope but from the opposite side.
Imagine you are dead. And then you are RIPPED from the embrace of decay into the world of the living again. Your memories are hazy and you don’t recognize any of these people, but they act like they’re close to you? Like they love you? So you try to get your memories back, to act like you belong here, but everybody tries to forget you died. And you can’t. It is omnipresent. And just trying to grapple with that fact pushes the people who “love” you away, and they’re incapable of understanding, and they’re so confused, what’s wrong N̶̄̀O̶͛͗T̷̉́ ̷͋͝Y̴̎̌Ȍ̴̈U̸̓R NÄM̴̃͑E̵̾̇? And you just need them to understand, you aren’t that person! You aren’t! You don’t know who that person is! You don’t know why any of this is happening, but they’re unwilling to bend, they keep insisting you are that person, your memories will come back, everything will be normal again, and you want to scream and cry and claw yourself open to show them you’re different. Your existence as a being wholly separate from whoever you “used to be” is a sin unto itself. All you can do is scrabble for life and to them, you’re killing whoever they loved to do it.
finding someone who shares your unpopular/niche opinions on Special Interest is literally like finding water in the desert. like thank fucking christ someone else has actually thought through this thing
actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.
